GILGAMESH
Hey, Mom, can you give us directions to Humbaba and the Cedar? Oh, and intercede with Shamash while you’re at it.

NINSUN
Damnit, Shamash, you had to go and give my son a restless heart.

SHAMASH
Woah! It wasn’t me, it was Arunru and Anu!

NINSUN
Whatever. Enkidu, come on over here, I’ve got to induct you into a cult.

ENKIDU
Nifty. What cult?

NINSUN
A cult of the devotees of Ishtar. At least I think so; the tablet broke so I’m not sure.

ENKIDU
Wait…isn’t that a cult of female warriors?

NINSUN
Yep.

ENKIDU
I thought I was male.

NINSUN
Pretty sure you are male.

ENKIDU
The Gods do want Gilgamesh to be gay!

NINSUM
More or less. Anyway, I put you in charge of Gilgamesh’s well being.

ELDERS
We charge you for a second time, Enkidu…

ENKIDU
Yeah, yeah, guard Gilgamesh, don’t fail him, dig wells, make offerings. Just remember that I thought this was a bad idea in the first place!

GILGAMESH
Let’s do this thing!