The Epic of Gilgamesh: Tablet 6, Gilgamesh pisses off Ishtar.

GILGAMESH
That was fun, killing Hambaba and all. I’ll just clean myself up a bit.

ISHTAR, Goddess of Love, catches sight of Gilgamesh all decked out in his ROYAL FINERY.

ISHTAR
Damn, Gilgamesh, you are one hot hunk of ancient Mesopotamian love.

ENKIDU
That’s what I’m saying.

ISHTAR
Come live with me and be my love and we will all the pleasures prove.

GILGAMESH
Wrong poem.

ISHTAR
Marry me, big boy, and I’ll give you all sorts of gifts. Your herds will be plentiful and people everywhere will bring you stuff.

GILGAMESH
No way! You’ve killed or cursed all your other lovers! Besides, I’ve got Enkidu.

ISHTAR goes to her father ANU and pouts about GILGAMESH.

ISHTAR
Dad! Gilgamesh was mean to me!

ANU
You started it. It’s all true besides.

ISHTAR
Dad! That’s not the point! Give me the Bull of Heaven so I can kill Gilgamesh!

ANU
No, not unless you’ve made sure that there’s enough food for the people to eat. The Bull of Heaven will cause seven years of famine.

ISHTAR
Oh yeah, that’s all set.

ANU
Alright, be home before 11.

ANU gives ISHTAR the BULL OF HEAVEN. SHE leads the BULL down to the earth.

ISHTAR
Hell hath no fury, you know.

The BULL OF HEAVEN snorts, creating a huge pit that swallows 300 young men and ENKIDU up to his waist.

ENKIDU
Now that’s not good. Best put a stop to this.

ENKIDU jumps out of the pit and starts to fight with the BULL.

ENKIDU
Hey, Gilgamesh! I’ve got the bull by the horns, come on over and slay the thing, will ya?

GILGAMESH
No problem.

GILGAMESH slays the BULL OF HEAVEN.

BULL OF HEAVEN
You know, seeing as I was supposed to cause 7 years of famine and killed 300 men by snorting twice I die pitifully easily.

ISHTAR
No fair! He insults me and kills the Bull of Heaven!

ENKIDU tears off the hindquarters of the BULL and flings it in her FACE.

ENKIDU
Oh stuff it! If I could get a hold of you, I would do the same to you.

ISHTAR
You’re just jealous that I’m the prettiest.

ENKIDU
Talk to the hand.

ISHTAR gathers up her cultic women and mourns the BULL. Meanwhile GILGAMESH and ENKIDU hold a happening SHINDIG.