Item Name |
What
it Does |
Cost/Worth |
| Pork
Chop of Indifference |
The
player eats it but doesn't seem to care. |
1gp |
| The
Hat of Spam Production |
A
regular looking 10 gallon hat that produces 1 can of Spam once per day. |
5gp |
| Glasses
of Blurry Vision |
These
glasses have a large black rimmed design. Everything seems blurry and out of focus
when the glasses are worn. |
3gp |
| The
Basket of Misunderstanding |
A
small wicker basket with no handles. When a member of a party is in possession of
this item everything that he/she says will be misunderstood by their teammates. Best
when used in conjunction with the Rod of Innuendo. |
3gp |
| Rod
of Innuendo |
This
long rod looks remarkably like something else...When a player is in possession of this rod
everything the player says or does is packed with innuendo. |
5gp |
| The
Pants of Illusion |
These
pants come in a varity of colors, but will always have a winking smily patch on the back
pocket. When a player wears these pants they believe that their butt looks really
really good. |
6gp |
| Rag
of Fury |
This
is an ordinary table washer's rag, but when the wrath of the user is aroused the rag can
summon 1d10 spray bottles that each have their own 2d6 spray attack. |
10gp |
| Vampiric
Salt Shaker |
An
undead Salt Shaker that stalks only sodium to feed on. It has fangs and wears a
black velvet cape. |
1gp |
| Cornucopia
of a Little Less |
A
magical Cornucopia that produces a loaf of bread and three pieces of fruit once per day. |
8gp |
| Horn
of Whispering |
A
horn tiny golden horn that when blown produces a tone so low that creatures and players
must make a Listen Check DC 22 to hear it. |
2gp |
| Corset
of Poppy Nipples |
When
wearing this corset a player must make a Reflex Save DC 16 to keep their nipples from
popping out. |
8gp |
| Ring
of Clumsiness |
A
bright golden banded ring with a green stone. While wearing this ring a creature or
player must make a Reflex Save DC 15 to keep from falling down. |
17gp |
| Cloak
of Apathy |
When
a creature or player wears this cloak they cease to care about everything. The cloak
comes in a variety of colors, but no one seems to care. If worn while wielding the
Sword of Apathy the player or creature will fall asleep. |
10gp |
| Sword
of Apathy |
When
a creature of player wields this sword they no longer care about the battle.
If wielding while the creature or player is wearing a Cloak of Apathy they will fall
asleep. |
20gp |
| Ring
of Small Forest Animals |
A
small ring in the shape of a squrril. When this ring is worn it can summon 1d10
small forest creatures who will follow the player or creature around looking cute. |
15gp |
| Katana
of Nerf |
This
katana is made of soft foam. It does no damage when wielded. |
3gp |
| Ring
of Gaudiness |
This
ring simply looks gaudy when worn. |
35gp |
| The
Stain of Ambiguity |
No
one is quite sure where it came from, it's just always been there. |
1gp |
| Portable
Puddle |
This
small 1 inch deep puddle may be folded up and carried, although it will get whatever
container it is being carried in sopping wet. |
3gp |
| Bag
of Misplacing |
This
bag can hold only 1d4 small items and it tends to get lost within a players other
bags. Player must make a search check of DC 18 to locate the bag. |
23gp |
| The
Half-Eaten Plate of Plenty AKA The Dishwashers Bane |
This
appears to be an ordinary plate of half eaten Dining Hall Thanksgiving Dinner. It
will eternally renew itself, fully satisfying the hunger of those desperate enough to eat
of it |
-5gp
- People have often attempted to pay others to take it |
| Bedroll
of Eternal Crankiness |
Every
morning a player must roll 1d10 against a crick in the neck. A nine gets bad hair,
8-5 gets no crick in the neck, but a leg cramp instead. The Bedroll is lumpy and
incredibly uncomfortable, as well as an astonishingly loud shade of plaid. |
4gp |
| The
Hairbrush of Instant Dreadlocks |
This
small hairbrush is decorated with beads and flowers, when used the owner will be given a
perfect set of dreadlocks, complete with glass beads etc. based on the owner's
personality. Owner gets -3 cha in all environments except barbarism or hippie ones,
in which the player gets +3 cha, but is constantly solicited for pipeweed |
2gp |
| The
Horn of Parental Irritation |
This
horn looks like a child's trumpet. When sounded it's tone mimics precisely the
victim's parent saying something obnoxious, such as: "When was the last time you
mucked out the dragon's stall, young lady!!" Causes victim to curl up in a
little ball and whimper, although it does no physical damage. |
5gp |
| The
Floppy Hat of Personal Wit |
This
hat is over large and will droop comically around anyone's head. Anything the owner
of this hat says seems to be extremely witty.
Works best when used with The Quill of Eternal Quoting. |
5gp |
| The
Armor of Angst |
Appears
to be soot blackened leather armor accompanied with a pair of soot blackened gloves. When
worn, black makeup will appear on the face of the wearer, and will cause them to sulk
throughout the rest of the battle. Also has a special attack if the wearer wears both
gloves and armor, is mad enough, and screams the chant "It's NOT FAIR!" loudly
at the opponent they will land a flurry of blows on the opponents chest. However, the
total damage the attack has is 1d4. If used with the Sword or Cloak of Apathy, the wearer
will storm off the battlefield,
go to their room, and slam any doors they encounter on their way. |
10gp |
| The
Corset of Invisibility |
When
worn, the maid's assets appear to be greatly enhanced. The problem is they also vanish.
They are also the only part of the wearer's body that appear visible. |
15gp |
| The
Ring of Say-So |
This
ring has a silver band and a bright opal stone with a pattern that looks like a stern
face. It grants the wearer the power to answer any question with "Because I
said so." If The victim must make a will save (DC equal to 15 + the wearer's CHA
bonus) if they fail, the victim of the ring's power will be thoroughly satisfied with
merely "Because." |
10gp |
| Dust
Bunny +5 |
This
dust bunny always hits for 1/5 hp damage. These creatures are hard to find because
they appear to be regular dust bunnies. A player wishing to find one must either
throw dust bunnies at their target until one attacks, or attack dust bunnies until one
hits back. |
3gp |
| Short
Sword of Reticence |
When
attacking with the Short Sword of Reticence, make a Will check (DC 10 + 1 for each level
of the target). If the Will check fails, damage is reduced to d4-1. If the check succeeds,
deal the normal d6. |
20gp |
| The
Emperor's Robes |
Although
these appear to the wearer to be finely-crafted mithril plate mail, they have an AC of 0.
All other people who see the wearer of the Robes will see them as they truly are: a
tattered pink bathrobe covered with purple dinosaurs. |
5gp |
|
|
|
